The Inventions Of Modern Times
by NarglesandNifflers
Summary: Arthur has risen again, but the world has changed greatly as he struggles to come to terms with all the new and bewildering food, gadgets and clothes in modern times.
1. Jeans And A Hoodie

**A/N: I know a lot of people will be writing fics about Arthur having to adjust to modern times, but I thought it would be fun to write about it. I'll probably write a series of one shots, each one about Arthur discovering a new modern invention.**

**I hope this is okay! :)**

"Arthur, this is ridiculous-"

"I'm not wearing it!" said Arthur petulantly. "Imagine how I'd look! I mean, I would look like _you!"_ He cast a disapproving eye over Merlin's jeans and T-shirt, shaking his head in disgust.

"But Arthur, things have moved on from a thousand years ago!" Merlin protested. "Trust me, if you walk around wearing your armour, _everyone_ would laugh at you."

"But it's so ugly!"

"It's not, it's normal to wear this now!" said Merlin with a sigh. "Come on, it makes sense for you to wear them."

"Why?" said Arthur at once. "Give me three good reasons why I should wear them."

"One, everyone will laugh at you if you walk around in armour. Two, you'll embarrass yourself and I'm pretty sure you don't want that. Three, you already look like an idiot, so they won't make you look any more of a prat than you already are."

Arthur scowled. "The third reason is just _rude, _Merlin. Plus, you told me the first reason a few minutes ago, so technically that doesn't count. And don't be rude to the King," he added.

"For the last time Arthur, you are _not_ the King any longer!"

Arthur ignored this. "Fine, if it will stop you moaning at me, I'll wear them," he said grudgingly. "What are they called, anyway?"

"These are called jeans," said Merlin brightly. "And this is called a hoodie."

"A _hoodie?"_

"They're very comfy, you'll like it," said Merlin, beaming at him.

"Right," Arthur sighed. "Great." He left the room to change into them, holding them as far away from them as he could as though they were going to contaminate him.

Five minutes later, he was back. Merlin couldn't help smiling fondly at the glum expression on his face.

"I look stupid, don't I?" said Arthur morosely.

"The jeans are on the wrong way round," said Merlin kindly. "But overall, you look much better than before. You look _normal."_

"Do I?" said Arthur anxiously.

Merlin nodded. "They suit you. And they are comfortable, aren't they?"

"No!" said Arthur at once. "They're horrible, especially this hood thing." He looked down at the hoodie in disgust. "I mean, what's the point of this thing? Very impractical, especially when you think about the things we used to wear, Merlin! Now I'm off to fix these stupid trousers."

From then on, Arthur would always wear jeans and a hoodie, although he continued to maintain that he hated them with a passion and only wore them because he had to. Exactly how every single one of Merlin hoodie's had found their way to Arthur's wardrobe one night, however, was still a mystery.

**A/N: I'll appreciate reviews! :D**


	2. The Bowl Of Ice Cream

**A/N: Thank you so much to the people who reviewed the last chapter! :)**

"What is _this_ supposed to be?" Arthur stared down at his bowl in horror.

"It's called ice cream," said Merlin, glancing up from his own bowl.

"So, what do I do with it?"

"You eat it," said Merlin simply. "It's very nice."

"But look at it!" Arthur spluttered. "It's all brown and…disgusting!"

"It's chocolate flavoured," said Merlin patiently. "You get lots of different types of ice cream, you see."

Arthur groaned. "Why has the world changed so much? Why is the food all horrible now?"

"You haven't tried it yet!" Merlin protested. "Come on, have a spoonful. You'll like it Arthur, I promise."

Arthur picked up his spoon and prodded the ice cream gingerly, shuddering. "Merlin, it's revolting, look at it!"

"It isn't-"

"What does it taste like?"

"Well," said Merlin, struggling to find the right words to use to describe it without putting Arthur off even more, "it's…cold. And it tastes of chocolate, which you _like,_ so don't try and pretend otherwise!"

"I don't like it," Arthur declared. "Remove it from my presence at once, Merlin!"

"I'm not a servant anymore," Merlin reminded him. "And you're not the King." Arthur was gradually coming to terms with the fact that he was now no better than anyone else, and the fact that Merlin was no longer his servant, but he would occasionally forget, which was understandable, considering the fact that he was used to telling everyone what to do and having them do it from the moment he could walk.

Arthur sighed. "Fine, I'll try a little bit of it, if I have to. If you're not going to take it through to the kitchen, _I'm_ not going to."

"I'll leave you in peace to eat it," said Merlin, rolling his eyes and standing up, carrying his bowl through to the kitchen. As he washed his bowl, he heard several loud exclamations of disgust coming from the dining room, but ignored them, well aware that Arthur liked to make a fuss about things.

He returned a few minutes later, and found Arthur sitting with an empty bowl. "You finished it!" Merlin said in delight.

"I didn't really like it, but I thought I might as well finish it," said Arthur, shrugging. "After all, you'd worked so hard to prepare it for me, and I owe a lot to you so it would be ungrateful to throw it away, although I ended up having to put the last bit in the bin, because it was making me feel sick."

"Right," said Merlin, choosing not to mention that the bin was in the kitchen, where he had been ever since he left Arthur so would have seen him put his ice cream in the bin, or the fact that all he had done to prepare it was scrape some ice cream out of a container. However, he remained quiet, and smiled at his friend, picking up the bowl and heading into the kitchen.

"Merlin?" said Arthur, following him. "Did you say that you can get…other flavours of ice cream as well as chocolate?"

Merlin nodded. "Do you want to try some?" he asked casually, a smile curling at the corners of his lips. He was glad he wasn't facing Arthur, and purposely kept his back to him.

"Just in case I like them more than the chocolate one," said Arthur quickly. "You never know. I don't think I will, though."

"No," said Merlin. "I'm sure you mean that."

**A/N: Hope you enjoyed this! :)**


	3. The Television

"Merlin! _Merlin! MERLIN!"_

Merlin sprinted through to the living room at the sound of Arthur's panicked shout. "What's happened? Are you alright?" he asked in a rush.

"No, I'm not alright!" Arthur snapped. "Look!" He pointed at Merlin's television, sitting innocently in the corner of the room.

Merlin heaved a deep sigh. "What happened, Arthur?" he asked wearily.

Arthur pointed at the remote lying face-down on the floor which Merlin assumed he'd thrown away in a panic. "I pressed one of the buttons on that… _thing_ and the box over there went all bright and weird moving pictures came on it! Then I pressed the same button, and it went black again!"

Merlin bit back a laugh. "That's called a television, Arthur."

"A _what?"_

Merlin picked up the remote, ignoring Arthur's frantic shout of, "No, Merlin, I forbid you to touch it, it's dangerous!" and pointed it at the television. "You press this red button here," he told Arthur. "That turns it on…"

"Yes, that was the button I pressed!" Arthur interrupted.

"Yes, and if you press it again, which you must have done, it turns off."

"But what does it _do?"_

"You can watch things on it," Merlin explained. "Lots of different types of things – I'll show you if you want."

"No!" said Arthur at once. "No way! It's _dangerous,_ Merlin. You need to get rid of it at once!"

"It's not!" said Merlin helplessly. "Everyone has one, Arthur. You'll like it if you give it a chance, honestly…"

"_No!" _Arthur folded his arms and glared at Merlin.

"Okay, if you're sure," Merlin shrugged. "I'll watch it myself – you can go if you want."

Arthur flinched as Merlin pressed another button, changing the channel. "Look Arthur, you can-"

"_NO!"_ Arthur roared, jumping to his feet and flying in the direction of the door. "You're putting yourself in unnecessary danger, Merlin! I thought that even _you _had more sense!"

"Arthur, it's perfectly safe-"

"No, it ISN'T!" Merlin rolled his eyes as Arthur slammed the door shut and stomped upstairs.

"He'll be down soon," Merlin murmured to himself. Sure enough, five minutes later, the door banged open and Arthur stormed in.

"You alright?" Merlin asked, keeping his eyes on the screen. "Have you stopped acting like a toddler?"

Arthur glared at him. "I don't trust this at _all,_ Merlin, but I'll let you show me how to work it if youreally want to."

Merlin beamed at him. "Good. Well done Arthur."

"Well, I'm not a coward," said Arthur firmly.

"Of course you're not," said Merlin kindly.

Arthur shuddered as he looked at the television. "It looks horrible Merlin. What's the point of it?"

"It's there for entertainment," said Merlin, shrugging. "You'll really enjoy watching it Arthur."

Arthur shook his head firmly. "I won't."

"You _will,"_ Merlin insisted.

Arthur sat down slowly. "So, where do we start?"

Merlin sighed. "No idea. I don't really know how to teach someone how to work a television – it's not something I've ever done before."

"Well if you don't want to-" Arthur began.

"No, I will," said Merlin quickly. "Just…keep calm. Don't panic whenever I press a button, okay?"

Arthur shot up, indignant. "I don't panic! I _never_ panic!"

"No," said Merlin brightly. "After all, you've never panicked about anything in your life!"

**A/N: Thank you to everyone who has favourited, followed or reviewed this fic! :)**


	4. Fireworks

**A/N: Thank you SO much to everyone who has reviewed this! I'm really surprised about the number of people who have favourited, followed or reviewed this fic – thank you! :)**

**I wrote this one because of New Year, even though I'm a day late! Never mind, hope you enjoy it.**

Merlin squeezed his eyes shut even tighter, pulling a pillow over his head in an attempt to block out the sounds of the fireworks from outside, celebrating the New Year. He couldn't get rid of the strange feeling that he was forgetting something, until it hit him.

"_Arthur!"_

He clambered out of bed, tangled in the blankets, causing him to trip up and land on the floor with a thud. He struggled to his feet and ran out of his room, heading towards Arthur's bedroom. He had almost reached the door when it was banged open and Arthur came flying out, hair sticking up and eyes wild.

"_MERLIN!"_ he roared. "Get ready, get ready!"

Merlin skidded to a halt. "Err, Arthur?" he said in confusion.

"Saddle my horse!" Arthur bellowed. "We're under attack!"

"No, Arthur, we're not-"

"_Where's my sword?!"_ Arthur shouted, thundering down the stairs. "Hurry up Merlin; we must get ready to defend ourselves!"

"ARTHUR!" Merlin yelled, running down the stairs after him. "Calm down, it's fine!"

"MERLIN, DON'T-"

Merlin caught up with him and grabbed hold of his arm. "Arthur, listen. They're called fireworks – people are setting them off to celebrate the New Year! Look…" He dragged Arthur over to the window. "They're quite nice to look at, really."

Arthur cowered under the bright lights flashing against the dark night sky. "That's utter madness!" he spluttered. "They're all loud and horrible – how can people set them off to _celebrate!"_

"Well, I don't like them much either," Merlin admitted. "But the point is Arthur, we are _not_ under attack!"

Arthur shook his head, stepping back from the window. "I'm going to bed," he said faintly.

"Okay, but call me if you need anything," said Merlin gently.

Arthur snorted. "I'm not scared of them Merlin, if _that's _what you think!"

"Well, you seemed pretty scared of them a few seconds ago," Merlin muttered.

"Well, I'm not!" Arthur snapped. "Not in the slightest. They're just stupid things people set off for celebration, aren't they? Not worth _panicking _about. I was only panicking earlier because I didn't know what they were," he added.

Merlin shrugged. "That's fine."

"Yes. And now I'm going to return to bed and get some sleep." And with that, Arthur stalked off, back up the stairs and into his room.

A few minutes later, when the fireworks were showing no sign of abating, Merlin decided to check on Arthur. He pushed the door open gently, and found Arthur huddled under his duvet, shaking violently.

"Arthur?" Merlin whispered softly, feeling a rush of affection for his friend. He walked towards the bed and nudged Arthur gently. "Are you alright?"

Arthur shot up. "Fine," he said quickly.

Merlin smiled at him. "That's good. But would you like to sleep in the same room as me tonight? Just this once."

"Yes!" said Arthur at once, leaping out of his bed. "Although it had better be just this once, and _not _because I'm scared!" he added firmly. "Because I'm not scared, not in the slightest. I find it easier to sleep lying under my blankets, you see…"

"Yes," said Merlin, nodding as though he understood. "Come on, then." He turned away so Arthur wouldn't see him smile.

**A/N: Hope you liked it! :) I don't know if it's a bit rushed – I hope it isn't!**


	5. Running Water

"Merlin! Fetch me a glass of water!"

"Do it yourself," Merlin replied, amused. "Honestly Arthur, all you have to do is walk into the kitchen."

Grumbling under his breath, Arthur pushed himself to his feet and staggered in the direction of the kitchen. "But _Mer_lin, I'm exhausted!"

If he had expected any sympathy, he was sorely disappointed. Merlin's only reply was; "Stop complaining, prat!"

Arthur glared at him and entered the kitchen. Merlin heard him rifling through the drawers and ransacking the cupboards, and remembered that he still hadn't introduced Arthur to a sink yet.

"Oh, this'll be fun," he groaned as he heaved himself off the sofa and made his way through to the kitchen.

"Merlin, where do you get water?" Arthur asked him impatiently. _"You _always go through to the kitchen to get it, but I don't know what you actually have to _use _to get it. Nowadays, things are so strange."

"You use this," Merlin told him, pointing at the sink.

"I cannot take another of these stupid inventions!" Arthur fumed.

"Arthur, please calm down," said Merlin wearily. "It's perfectly simple." He picked up a glass and held it under one of the taps. "You turn this," he told his friend over his shoulder, "and water comes out." He turned the tap as he spoke and filled the glass with water, hearing a gasp from behind him.

"Now you turn it again, and the water stops," he explained. "When you turn this tap you get cold water, and when you turn the other one the water is warm. See?" He turned to look at his friend.

Arthur's eyes were wide as he stared at the sink. _"Wow!"_

Merlin smiled, handing him the glass. "It's a very useful thing to have."

"But…but are you sure it's safe to drink this?" Arthur asked, suddenly nervous.

"I'm sure," Merlin replied.

Arthur nodded quickly, and his gaze returned to the taps almost instantly. "Merlin," he asked hesitantly, "can I…have a go?"

Merlin fought not to laugh at the rapt expression on Arthur's face. "If you want to, of course."

Arthur stepped forward eagerly and reached out a hand, flinching slightly as he touched the tap. Slowly, he turned it, and water began trickling out of it. His mouth fell open.

"Merlin! This is amazing!" he cried, his glass of water forgotten as he began turning both of the taps on and off, over and over again.

Merlin couldn't help laughing this time. "I take it you like the idea of running water then, Arthur?"

"Definitely!" Arthur enthused. "This is brilliant!"

"I'm not sure it was invented so people can play with it-" Merlin began, but Arthur cut him off.

"Play with it? _Play_ with it? I'll have you know Merlin, that King Arthur Pendragon never, and I repeat, _never,_ plays with things! I am merely conducting a scientific experiment, that is all."

"A scientific experiment?" Merlin repeated, amused.

"Yes. I'm currently trying to work out the science behind this, so kindly leave me alone so I can conduct it in peace!"

Rolling his eyes, Merlin left him.

Arthur remained in the kitchen for nearly the rest of the day. It took Merlin a full half hour to persuade him to come away from the sink and have some dinner, although Arthur did eventually comply, albeit reluctantly. However, as soon as Arthur was finished, he raced back into the kitchen again.

Merlin, who now needed the sink to wash the dishes, entered the kitchen where Arthur was currently turning both taps on and splashing the water round the room, beaming in delight. Merlin watched as he turned one of the taps off, then the other, and gazed in fascination at the drips of water now coming from the taps.

"This," Merlin heard him say, "is_ amazing!"_

"Err, Arthur," said Merlin, trying for what felt like the hundredth time that day not to laugh, "I need to use the sink to wash the dishes."

Arthur's face fell. "Do I have to leave?"

"Well," said Merlin hopefully, "you can always help me."

"Will I get to use the sink?" Arthur asked hesitantly.

Merlin nodded. "In fact, you could even wash them by_ yourself_ if you want to."

"Okay!" said Arthur brightly.

Merlin grinned. "Brilliant!" He made his way across the rather wet floor and handed the dishes to Arthur. "I'll be in the living room if you need me. Are you sure you'll be okay in here?"

"Of course," said Arthur in a dignified voice.

Merlin left the kitchen, inwardly congratulating himself for _finally_ managing to persuade Arthur to wash the dishes, not that Arthur had taken a lot of persuasion thankfully.

He was settling down to watch televison when there was a loud crash and a loud exclamation of; "Oops!" from Arthur. Merlin groaned.

"Arthur, what've you broken?" he called.

"Nothing!" Arthur sounded extremely offended that Merlin would ever even _consider_ that he would break something.

Merlin remained quiet, until he heard Arthur laugh. "It's raining!"

Merlin sighed and stood up, heading through to the kitchen. Arthur was throwing water over himself, beaming. He turned the taps even more so the water gushed out of them with a new intensity, and tried to gather the water up in his hands, before attempting to throw it in Merlin's direction...

_"Merlin!"_

"_Really,_ Arthur?" said Merlin, pretending to sound umimpressed.

"I'm sorry, but it was fun!" said Arthur defensively.

Merlin raised an eyebrow, but had to struggle to hold back the smile that was threatening to appear. "Arthur, you're acting like a child, _honestly..."_

Arthur opened his mouth indignantly, but, unable to think of a reply, promptly shut it again.

Merlin moved over to the sink. "However, I do need to get you back after what you just did..."

"I didn't know you were there!" Arthur protested as Merlin threw the water in his face. Laughing, he picked up another handful of water and threw it over Merlin.

So the day ended with the two of them having a water fight in the kitchen, completely forgetting about the dishes.

**A/N: Thanks a lot to everyone who has reviewed this! :)**


	6. The Plane

"What is this thing called again Merlin?"

"A plane," said Merlin patiently, for what felt like the millionth time.

"A plane," Arthur repeated slowly. He frowned. "Are you _ever_ going to tell me what this thing actually is?" He shifted uncomfortably on his seat.

"All in good time," Merlin replied casually. In actual fact, he was planning to tell Arthur what a plane was once they were about to leave, aware that if Arthur knew what it was he would escape from the plane as fast as he could. He couldn't suppress the flicker of guilt for deceiving Arthur like this, but he wasn't sure what else he could do.

Arthur sighed. "It had better not be anything weird, like that car thing."

"I thought you liked cars now!" Merlin protested. "Or got used to them at least."

Arthur shook his head firmly, a look of horror on his face. "I hate cars! Horses are much better…"

"Yes, I know," Merlin interrupted, not in the mood to get into another long debate with Arthur about the practicalities of travelling on horses or cars. Whenever Arthur started ranting about how noisy and smelly cars were, that was usually quite a lot of the day gone.

Merlin glanced at his watch. "We should be leaving soon…"

"But what will happen?" Arthur snapped. "Please Merlin, just tell me."

Merlin gasped. "You said _please!_ Arthur, are you okay?"

Arthur frowned. "Fine. I don't get ill, after all. Only weak people do that."

"Exactly!" said Merlin seriously. "That's why I was asking."

Arthur rolled his eyes. "Very funny. Look Merlin, I _command_ you to tell me what is about to happen to your king!"

Merlin sighed. "The plane will rise into the air and…well, it's a bit like a car, only it flies in the air." He paused, avoiding Arthur's eyes. "I'm sorry Arthur, I know you'll hate the idea-"

"Don't talk to me," said Arthur quietly.

Merlin glanced at his friend, the feeling of guilt growing rapidly. "Arthur, I'm sorry I didn't tell you-"

Arthur took a deep, shaking breath and squeezed his eyes shut, turning away from Merlin.

Merlin grasped his arm. "Arthur? Are you okay? I'm being serious this time…"

"You are no longer my friend," came Arthur's muffled voice. "And there's no need to ask if I'm okay, because I'm asleep. That's why my eyes are shut. I'm not scared."

"Arthur-" Merlin began desperately.

"I'm trying to sleep!" Arthur snapped.

He ignored Merlin for most of the journey, in fact, he didn't move once. Merlin knew how he must be feeling, and kept a comforting hand on his arm, despite the fact that Arthur wasn't talking to him. He felt a rush of relief once the plane had landed and they left, Arthur looking resolutely in the opposite direction.

"Arthur, I'm sorry that I didn't tell you what it was until the last minute," said Merlin anxiously, now starting to panic that Arthur was so terrified as a result of the journey that he might take ages to recover. "I'm so sorry-"

Arthur looked at him and Merlin stopped short. He was _smiling._

"Err, Arthur?"

"I thought it was brilliant Merlin! Can I go on it again? Could we buy one?"

**A/N: Thank you if you reviewed! :) I know this chapter could probably be better, but I still hope you liked it.**


	7. The Roller Coaster

"You want me togo on _that?"_ Arthur asked incredulously. "Are you mad?"

"It's fun!" Merlin protested. "And I think you'd like it."

"_MERLIN!" _Merlin couldn't help wincing slightly as Arthur bellowed his name. "Do you have a death wish, you idiot!?"

"_You_ always said that you liked a bit of risk in your life?" said Merlin slyly. "Or was that all just talk?"

Arthur froze. "Are you saying that you think I'm acting like a coward, Merlin?" he snarled. "Because if you are, you'll regret it."

Merlin shrugged, unconcerned. "If you don't want to go on it, that's fine with me-" he began.

"No!" said Arthur quickly.

Merlin smiled. "So you want to go on the roller coaster, then?"

"Well, I can't have you thinking I'm a coward," said Arthur firmly, although Merlin could see the distress in his eyes as he turned to stare up at the roller coaster, currently hurtling up the track before plunging downwards, causing a few of the passengers to scream. Merlin saw Arthur swallow.

"Look, if you don't want to-"

"Come on," Arthur interrupted, looking pale but determined. "It shouldn't be too bad. It…it might even be fun," he added weakly as Merlin raised his eyebrows at him.

"Well, I'll go and get the tickets," said Merlin cautiously. He paused. "Arthur, are you _sure?"_

"Of course!" said Arthur brightly, although Merlin detected a slight tremor in his voice. "I, err, can't wait to go on it!"

"Well, you seem to have changed your opinion of it pretty quickly," Merlin murmured as he headed off to buy the tickets, smiling wryly as he remembered Arthur's heated objections just a couple of minutes ago.

He made his way back over to Arthur once he had bought the tickets, now feeling slightly nervous and regretting ever bringing up the subject of the roller coaster in the first place. Arthur was standing as though someone had glued him to the spot, staring up at the roller coaster with his mouth slightly open. As Merlin approached, he turned round to face him, wearing a rather fixed smile.

"This…looks great!" he said faintly, gesturing to the roller coaster with a shaking hand.

"Do you really mean that?" said Merlin doubtfully.

"Of course!" Arthur jabbered. "Looks fun, really, really fun…"

"Arthur, are you okay?" said Merlin, looking at his friend closely. Arthur's face was coated with a sheen of sweat, and his fists were clenched tightly.

"What? Oh yes, of course," Arthur said quickly, taking a deep breath.

"Look, maybe we shouldn't go on it today," said Merlin gently.

"No, no, it's just come to a stop, look!" Arthur squared his shoulders and began to make his way over to the roller coaster. Merlin followed him helplessly, knowing that it would be pointless to try and persuade Arthur to leave it to another day once he had decided to go on it, even if it was only to try and prove that he wasn't a coward.

The two of them climbed into a carriage, Arthur keeping up a bright, slightly hysterical, flow of chatter about how much he was looking forward to going on the roller coaster, and how only cowards were scared of them. He fell silent, however, once the roller coaster began to move slowly.

"Just keep calm," Merlin told him quietly, keeping a comforting hand on his arm. "Don't panic."

Arthur's retort was muffled as he covered his face with his hands.

The roller coaster began to speed up and Merlin squeezed one of Arthur's clammy hands in his, pulling it down from his face. "Come on Arthur, you'll be fine…"

Arthur whispered something, now shaking like a leaf. He closed his eyes as the roller coaster rounded a corner sharply, and groaned.

"What is it?" Merlin leaned towards Arthur to try and hear what he was saying.

"I think I'm going to be sick," Arthur moaned weakly.

Merlin patted him on the back helplessly. He could feel Arthur shaking all over, and felt a flash of guilt for ever making the suggestion that Arthur went on the roller coaster in the first place.

As they flew round another corner, Arthur let out a gasp of terror, clutching Merlin's arm so tightly it hurt. His earlier bravado had disappeared completely.

"It's okay," Merlin whispered, rubbing Arthur's back soothingly. "It'll be over soon, I promise."

Arthur mumbled something unintelligible.

As it finally slowed down, eventually coming to a halt, Arthur jumped out without even opening the carriage door. "That was fun!"

Merlin followed him more slowly. "You thought it was _fun?"_

"Of course," said Arthur in a dignified voice. Now that he was off the roller coaster, he seemed to have regained some of his composure. "Very-oh, look, horses!" Merlin turned to see him pointing at a merry-go-round.

"You want to have a go on that?"

"Yes," said Arthur eagerly. He began to run towards the merry-go-round.

Xxx

"Well, Merlin," said Arthur as they left the fairground. "I feel as though I have proved that I am a worthy king today."

"Really?" said Merlin in mild interest.

"Yes. After all, Merlin," he said grandly, "not many people would have the courage to do what I did today."

"No, not everyone goes on roller coasters," Merlin agreed.

Arthur shook his head. "I meant that merry-go-round thing. Now, it was _very_ brave of me to go on that!"

**A/N: Thank you to everyone who has reviewed this! :)**


	8. The Phone

Merlin flipped through the newspaper, idly scanning the headlines. He was distracted when the phone began to ring and got to his feet, sighing.

"Yes?"

"_MERLIN!"_ Arthur screeched down the phone. "You won't believe what's just happened!"

"What?" Merlin asked warily. "You do realise that I'm at work, Arthur? I'm quite busy-"

"Yes, yes, but this won't take a moment," Arthur interrupted impatiently. "You see, I was in the kitchen and… _I made_ _myself a sandwich!"_

"Right," said Merlin blankly. "Well, remember that I told you only to use this phone in_ emergencies, _Arthur, because some of us have to actually _work,_ you see. Some of us don't have the luxury of sitting at home all day, doing nothing-"

"Yes," Arthur interrupted, "but I _have_ been working. I made myself a sandwich! Anyway, you can't expect me to get a job – _I _used to be king of Camelot! And I died!" With that, he slammed the phone down, leaving Merlin in peace.

An hour later, the phone rang again. Of course, it was Arthur.

"Merlin!" he hissed in a panicked whisper. "There is a monster loose in the house!"

"What happened this time?" Merlin asked wearily.

"I pressed this button on some weird contraption I found in a cupboard, and it started to roar at me!"

"I think you might mean the vacuum, Arthur," said Merlin gently.

"The what?"

"Never mind, I'll explain later. Just-"

He heard a yell and the sound of the phone being thrown down. If he strained his ears, Merlin could make out the sound of Arthur bellowing about treason over the noise of the vacuum. There were a few bangs and a loud crunch before the noise eventually stopped.

"Sorry about that," Arthur panted, returning to the phone. "That vacuum monster put up a good fight, but, of course, he was no match for King Arthur."

"Arthur!" said Merlin warningly. "What did you do?"

"I put an end to the beast," said Arthur proudly. "I smashed it to pieces with…well, I don't really know what it was. But everything's okay now, no need to be scared Merlin."

"Arthur, you _idiot!"_ But Arthur had already put down the phone.

A couple of hours later, the phone rang again. _"Merlin!"_ he hollered.

"What?" Merlin snapped, the incident from earlier still fresh in his mind.

"I put this thing on in the kitchen, and put my hands in it, and they went all hot and sore!"

"You burnt yourself?" said Merlin, his tone softening.

"I don't know, but it was painful!"

"Sounds like you put your hands in the oven," said Merlin sympathetically, although part of him was struggling not to laugh at Arthur's petulant tone. "Thankfully I'm coming home soon, so I can repair my vacuum and help treat your burns."

"Oh, I disposed of the pieces of the vacuum monster," Arthur assured him brightly. "I put them in the bin outside, in case it was still alive. I think they've taken away all the rubbish in the bins now – they came about an hour ago." Suddenly he let out a shout. _"Merlin!_ I just pressed a button on this thing in the kitchen, and part of it sprung open!"

"Arthur, don't-"

"I fear it might be dangerous! I must dispose of this ridiculous abomination-"

"Arthur, don't move! I'm coming home this minute!" Merlin gabbled, slamming down the phone and racing out of the office.

**A/N: Hope you liked it! :)**


	9. The Horror Film

Merlin entered the living room with a spring in his step. "Hi Arthur, you okay? I can't smell burning, so I assume you haven't set fire to the house again." He beamed at his friend before stopping short.

Arthur was huddled in the chair in front of the TV, his eyes wide and face as white as a sheet. Merlin approached him cautiously, dropping his bag on the floor and sitting down next to him.

"Arthur, what happened?"

"Nothing," said Arthur quietly, attempting a smile and evidently trying to hide the slight tremor in his voice. "How was work?"

"Fine," said Merlin, eyeing him suspiciously. "Don't try and change the subject Arthur, what happened?"

"_Nothing!"_ Arthur protested. "Don't question your king, _Mer_lin." However his voice lacked conviction, and he clearly knew it.

Merlin sighed and shifted into a more comfortable position on the sofa, knocking against something solid in Arthur's fist as he did so. Looking down, he saw the remote clutched tightly in Arthur's hand, so tightly that his knuckles were white. Merlin noticed, with a feeling of trepidation, that his hand was trembling.

"Arthur, what did you watch on the television?" he asked quietly, reaching out and tugging the remote from Arthur's grasp.

"I didn't watch anything!" said Arthur at once.

Merlin pointed the remote at the television. "So, would you mind if I put what you were watching back on?" he asked casually.

A look of fear passed briefly over Arthur's face, however, he shrugged, trying to come across as unconcerned. "I don't care."

Merlin was about to press the button to turn it on, but Arthur promptly grabbed his wrist. "There's no point, it's finished anyway…"

"So you _were_ watching something on the television?" said Merlin swiftly.

Arthur glared at him. "Oh, shut up. Stop trying to be clever, it doesn't suit you."

Merlin turned on the TV, ignoring Arthur's protests, and found himself watching the end of a horror film. He turned to look at Arthur, who was staring steadily in the other direction.

"Don't worry, Arthur," Merlin began gently. "Some horror films_ are_ quite scary-"

Arthur drew himself up. _"Scary? _Merlin, I'm not scared!"

Merlin raised an eyebrow. "Really? Because you look pretty shaken to me."

Arthur grabbed the remote from him. "Go away and leave me to watch this!" he snapped. "I'll prove to you that I'm not scared."

"So, when you say go away," Merlin began carefully, "you basically mean that I should go away so you can pretend you're watching the rest of the film?"

Arthur glared at him, but seemed unable to think of a retort.

"It's okay, I'll leave," said Merlin quickly, sliding off the sofa. He had just spotted a vase sitting on a shelf within arm's length to Arthur, and definitely didn't fancy getting hit with a vase made out of glass.

"See you!" he said cheerfully over his shoulder to Arthur, who scowled at him. He left the room, fully intending to keep an eye on Arthur, who he knew was highly likely to panic while watching the film, if his state earlier was anything to go by.

Merlin stood in the kitchen for a couple of minutes before tentatively entering the living room, standing by the doorway so Arthur wouldn't spot him. In fact, where _was_ Arthur?

Merlin's eyes scanned the room, but he couldn't see his friend anywhere. The film was still playing, although it would be finished soon, but Arthur was nowhere to be seen. The only thing left on the sofa was a large pile of cushions…

…with a leg sticking out from underneath them.

Merlin couldn't help but smile affectionately. "Arthur?"

The cushions jumped, some falling onto the floor, and the leg immediately disappeared from view, under the remaining cushions.

Merlin approached the cushions, now able to see Arthur's blond head sticking out from the top. "Arthur, would you like to watch something else?" he asked quietly.

"I'm just…" Arthur's voice was muffled. "I'm just…resting. I'm tired."

Merlin pulled the cushions off him, and smiled at his friend. "I know you didn't find the film very scary-"

"Not a bit!" said Arthur scornfully.

"However, why don't we watch a cartoon?" Merlin asked brightly.

Arthur sat up slowly. "What's a cartoon?"

"You'll like it," Merlin assured him with a laugh.

**A/N: Hope you liked it :)**


	10. The Laptop

"_Merlin!"_ Arthur snapped. "I thought I told you not to!"

"What have I done now?" Merlin asked wearily.

In answer, Arthur pointed angrily at the laptop sitting harmlessly on Merlin's knees.

"Sorcery!" he accused.

Merlin laughed and shook his head. "This isn't sorcery, Arthur."

"Well, I don't recall ever seeing one in Camelot," Arthur huffed.

Merlin rolled his eyes. Arthur had recently got it into his head that every single 'modern invention' was in fact Merlin's magic at work, and Merlin was having a hard time convincing him otherwise.

"Arthur, this is called a laptop. You can search different things on it-"

Arthur shook his head, looking reproachful. "You know, it really isn't nice to lie to your best friend, Merlin. Or your superior," he added as an afterthought.

Merlin shrugged, unaffected. "You may have been my superior a thousand years ago, but we're equal now. Anyway, I was always superior to you in knowledge and looks and-"

Arthur threw a cushion at him. "Shut up or I'll break that square thing!" He nodded violently at Merlin's laptop.

"Laptop," said Merlin patiently.

Arthur snorted. "Do you really think I care what it's called? It'll just be some stupid name that you've come up with…"

"If you want, you can come over here and I can show you how it works?" Merlin suggested.

Arthur was silent for a few seconds, deep in thought, before finally nodding and heaving a sigh of resignation. "If I have to."

Merlin moved along the sofa to make room for him. "You can search anything you want in that box there," he told Arthur as his friend sat down, pointing at the search box. "You press these letters to make words, and when you've finished typing the words, you press this button here."

"Can I try?" Arthur asked curiously.

Merlin nodded, and handed the laptop over to Arthur. "Be careful with it," he warned as Arthur began to cautiously press the letters. "If you drop it and smash it, I'll-"

"You will be able to fix it with your magic anyway," said Arthur with a shrug. "It wouldn't even matter."

Merlin was rather ashamed that he was unable to think of a suitable retort to this.

"What are you writing?" he asked Arthur, craning his neck to see what Arthur was slowly typing. So far, he had written, "King A."

"Where's the 'r' button?" said Arthur in frustration, glaring at the keyboard.

Merlin sighed and pointed at the 'r' key. Arthur pressed it slowly, but refused to allow Merlin to help him with the rest of the word.

"Now what do I do?" he asked helplessly when he was finally finished typing, staring at the screen.

"Arthur, are you sure you want to search for _yourself?"_ said Merlin cautiously.

Arthur glared at him. "Of course. I'm amazing."

Rolling his eyes, Merlin pressed the search button, and exactly as he did so the doorbell rang. Heaving himself off the sofa, Merlin made his way out of the room and into the hallway to answer it.

It turned out to be someone trying to sell him something, which Merlin had guessed it would be. He had just managed to convince the seller that he was not interested when Arthur gave a delighted shout from the living room.

"_MERLIN!_ Why didn't you tell me that I'm an important historical figure?! There's loads of stuff about me!"

The woman looked rather bewildered. "Who's that? Did he just call himself a _historical figure?"_

"It's just my friend," said Merlin quickly, hoping he sounded casual. "He's only joking."

"Right," she replied, although she continued to eye him curiously.

"I'd better be going now," said Merlin hastily, and shut the door before she could protest. He was glad he did, because at that exact moment Arthur gave a roar of rage.

"WHAT?! MERLIN, COME HERE THIS INSTANT!"

Merlin sighed. "Yes, Arthur?" he said rather warily upon entering the living room.

"I look _nothing_ like that!" Arthur pointed at a picture showing a bearded man in evident fury. "How dare they pretend that they know what I look like – I'll be having words with them!"

"Arthur, I really don't think that people will believe you if you go up to them and insist that you are King Arthur," said Merlin in amusement, taking the laptop from Arthur before he broke it in anger.

"But I am!"

"They still won't _believe _you though, will they?" said Merlin, turning the laptop off in case Arthur took it into his head to search for himself again and became even more annoyed.

"This is ridiculous!" Arthur fumed.

Merlin smiled. "So, I take it you don't like the laptop very much?"

"It's sorcery," said Arthur angrily. "I still know that it's you who's created all these things, Merlin. You can't fool King Arthur!"

"No," Merlin agreed sarcastically. "I don't think I've ever managed to fool you before!"

**A/N: As always, thank you to everyone who has reviewed this fic! :) **


	11. Hot Water Bottle

"Arthur, for the last time, just go and lie down!" said Merlin in frustration.

"I don't need to," Arthur replied sharply, turning away from his friend to wipe his streaming eyes and nose.

"Arthur, there's nothing wrong in admitting you're ill-" Merlin began.

"But I'm _not_ ill!" Arthur snapped. "Shut up _Mer_lin, and leave me alone."

"You won't get any better if you don't rest," said Merlin brightly, unfazed by Arthur's sharp tone. He had been addressed in that manner more times than he could remember.

"Since when did you become a doctor?" Arthur scoffed.

"Look, go upstairs to bed and I'll bring you a hot drink," said Merlin calmly. "And a hot water bottle too, if you like."

"A what?"

"Hot water bottle – it's something to warm you up," said Merlin quickly. "Anyway, go away."

"Oh, that's nice," said Arthur sulkily, leaving the room sullenly.

Ten minutes later, Merlin knocked cautiously on Arthur's bedroom door. "Come in," was the brusque reply he received in return. Rolling his eyes, Merlin entered the room, balancing a hot cup of tea on one hand and clutching a hot water bottle in the other.

Arthur was sitting up in bed, glaring at the opposite wall. Merlin placed the cup of tea on his bedside table, and handed Arthur the hot water bottle.

"I thought-" he began.

_"MERLIN!"_ Arthur roared, throwing the hot water bottle to the other side of the room in a panic. "This is _burning!"_

"It's-" Merlin began.

"You incompetent fool!" Arthur fumed. "You made it wrong!"

"It's meant to be like that!" said Merlin, picking the hot water bottle off the ground.

Arthur's mouth fell open. "Why would people _want_ it boiling hot like that?"

"They're actually very good to have when you're ill," Merlin explained. "Very relaxing..."

"I don't care," Arthur interrupted.

"...and very nice and comforting," Merlin continued.

"I don't care!" Arthur repeated, his voice slightly louder.

"And also really-"

_"I DON'T CARE!"_ Arthur bellowed.

Merlin stepped backwards in alarm. "Alright, calm down."

"Go away," Arthur snarled.

Merlin sighed. "If you insist."

Arthur glared at him. "Yes, I do insist. And if you don't leave right this minute, I'll throw that tea over you." He gestured threatningly at the tea sitting on his bedside cabinet.

Merlin shook his head. "You're scary even when you're ill. Don't take that as a compliment!" he added hastily as Arthur's face broke out into a wide smile.

"Well, it's too late, you've said it now," said Arthur smugly.

Merlin rolled his eyes. "Idiot."

"Anyway, go," said Arthur firmly. "I mean it, _go!"_

"No," Merlin replied simply. He held the hot water bottle out to his friend. "Come on Arthur, you're being ridiculous."

Arthur's only answer was a glare.

Merlin placed the hot water bottle next to him. "Right, I'll go now," he said quickly, darting out of the room.

_"MERLIN!"_ he heard Arthur roar from behind him. There was a loud thump and Merlin assumed he had thrown the hot water bottle on the floor. Shaking his head with exasperation, Merlin retreated down the hall, planning to return to check on Arthur in a few minutes time.

About ten minutes had passed before Merlin knocked cautiously on Arthur's door. He was met with silence, and entered the room tentatively.

Arthur was lying in bed, fast asleep. His arms were wrapped around the hot water bottle, clutching it, almost protectively, to his chest.

Merlin smiled as he made his way over to the cabinet and picked up the empty cup of tea. The movement awoke Arthur, who sat up slowly, rubbing his eyes and blinking repeatedly.

"Hello Arthur!" said Merlin brightly.

Arthur scowled at him. "I know what you're going to say, but I don't actually _like_ this hot water bottle thing. I don't even know why it's here - I thought it was on the floor."

"Yeah," said Merlin seriously. "Well, I'll take it away if you don't want it."

"No, I'll keep it," said Arthur casually. "You never know, I might need it."

Merlin raised his eyebrows. "I'm sure you will. But would you like me to get you another one?"

"Why, what's wrong with this one?" said Arthur in surprise.

"Nothing," said Merlin, with genuine surprise in his voice. "I just thought...you know."

Arthur's eyes narrowed. "What?"

"Well, I thought you'd complain that I gave you a pale pink hot water bottle decorated with fluffy sheep, but maybe that's just me," said Merlin meekly, running out of the room and leaving Arthur staring at his hot water bottle in bewilderment, wondering what was so wrong with it.

**A/N: Hope you liked this one, and thank you to everyone who has reviewed this! :)**


	12. The Washing Machine

The house seemed eerily quiet. Merlin shut the door behind him with a bang, to alert Arthur that he was home if he wasn't already aware of it. However, no one replied and he placed his bag on the floor, frowning.

"_Arthur!"_ Merlin called. "I'm back!"

The door leading through to the kitchen swung open, and Arthur hurried out of the room, fixing Merlin with a bright smile. "Hello Merlin!" He indicated the kitchen. "I've been in here for the last few hours!"

"And why exactly have you been in the kitchen?" said Merlin with a feeling of dread. _"Please _don't tell me you've been trying to cook again, we had to replace that oven, not even my _magic _could fix it!"

Arthur pointed an accusing finger at Merlin. "You were just making that up to make me feel bad! Do you really expect me to believe that the most 'powerful sorcerer in the world' can't fix an _oven!"_

Merlin rolled his eyes. "I'm surprised you know what an oven is. Anyway, what _were_ you doing in there?"

"I discovered this thing," said Arthur eagerly, grabbing Merlin's arm and dragging him into the kitchen. "Look!" He pointed enthusiastically at the washing machine.

"You press this button," Arthur explained, "and it goes round and round. I've been putting things I found lying around the house into it – they all spin round!"

"Err, Arthur?" said Merlin weakly. "What exactly have you been putting into the washing machine?"

"The what?" said Arthur blankly. "I'm talking about _this!" _He pointed at the washing machine again.

"It's called a washing machine," said Merlin vaguely, opening the door to the washing machine and groaning as his eyes landed on a pile of (smashed) ornaments and his remote control, among other things Merlin couldn't quite make out. Not that it mattered, as they were all ruined now anyway.

"I figured that it doesn't really matter if these things are damaged, because you can just fix them with your magic," said Arthur, shrugging offhandedly. "Anyway…" He swept the remains of Merlin's possessions out of the washing machine. "Merlin, you need to press that button once I'm inside this machine thing, alright?"

"Arthur, do _not_ climb inside the washing machine!" said Merlin warningly.

"I'll do what I want to do!" said Arthur indignantly. "Don't even_ try_ and order me about, _Mer_lin."

Merlin rolled his eyes as Arthur clambered inside the washing machine. "You're not going to fit," he said in amusement. "You've been at the pies again-"

"Shut up!" was Arthur's muffled reply as he unsuccessfully tried to squash himself inside the washing machine, seemingly unable to breathe as he tried to gesture frantically at Merlin to shut the door.

"Arthur, you're either going to come out of there, or you're going to stay there all on your own until you starve," said Merlin firmly. "You aren't even in the washing machine properly, how can you expect me to shut the door if your legs are sticking out? And besides, you don't even know what a washing machine is _for."_

Arthur glared at him, but clambered back out of the washing machine all the same. "Use your magic to make it bigger! I mean, why have one if you can't use it properly?"

"Can't use it properly?" Merlin repeated blankly.

"Well, they were obviously invented so people could spin about in them, only that useless machine thing doesn't work. Is it meant to be like an indoor fair ride?" Arthur added eagerly.

Merlin laughed. "No, not really. You actually use them to wash clothes."

"What?" said Arthur in genuine astonishment.

Merlin nodded. "If you ever want to wash clothes, you put them in the washing machine. Although in your case," he added hastily, "you'd be better to give them to me. I don't want you to break the washing machine like most of the other things I own."

Arthur barely registered the insult. He shook his head in disbelief. "This washes _clothes?_ That's_ all_ it does?"

"Well, it would have been useful if we'd had one of them, wouldn't it?" said Merlin.

"What, back when I was king?" said Arthur in surprise. "Oh no Merlin, I would have banned this. Along with all the other strange things you get nowadays."

"Well, no one would have thanked you for doing that," said Merlin with a sigh. "Anyway, I was going to have some chocolate cake, but I suppose you can't, seeing as you've 'banned' it..."

"I said I _would_ have banned it!" said Arthur sharply. "There's a difference. Now give me some cake, or I'll send you to the stocks!"

Merlin smiled as Arthur strode out of the kitchen. He may not be the king any more, but some things never changed.

**A/N: Hoped you liked this one, and thank you for the reviews! :)**


	13. The Doctor's

Arthur prodded Merlin on the arm. "I'm bored!" he hissed.

"We won't have to wait much longer," said Merlin, closing the magazine he had spent the last few minutes trying to read. He had already come to the conclusion that it was a load of rubbish and threw it down onto the table next to him.

Arthur sighed and drummed his fingers against the arm of the chair. "You _said_ it wouldn't take long, _Mer_lin. We'll miss You've Been Framed at this rate!"

Merlin laughed, prompting a glare from Arthur. "I don't see what's funny about that," he said coolly.

"Well, it's on in two hours!" Merlin protested. "There is very little chance of us missing it."

Arthur's scowl deepened. "We'd better not. Anyway, what exactly is going to happen here? What are the-" He paused. "Doc-tors. What are they going to do to me?"

"I keep telling you, Arthur," said Merlin patiently. "They check you're healthy."

"How will they check I'm healthy?" said Arthur suspiciously.

"Well, they have to give you a-" Merlin broke off. "Well, it's known as a 'jag' and it is something everyone has to have. It protects you against catching illnesses, and they're_ very_ important. Seeing as you've never had one, I decided to book this appointment for you." He beamed at his friend, perhaps a little too brightly. "You see? It'll be fine!"

Arthur frowned. "What's a j-?"

"Oh, look at this!" Merlin interrupted loudly, holding up a magazine and pointing wildly at a picture of a car, cutting off the inevitable question. "How interesting! Arthur, look at this fascinating article!"

Arthur's face darkened. "Merlin," he began warningly.

"Mr Pendragon?" Merlin heard a woman call. He felt a rush of relief.

"What's happening?" Arthur asked Merlin sharply.

"It's time for your appointment!" said Merlin brightly. "Would you like me to come with you?"

Arthur hesitated.

"Well, of course I don't," he said eventually. "Not really. But…just in case…in case of…err, in case…"

"I'll come in with you!" said Merlin with a grin, saving Arthur the embarrassment of having to admit that he actually _wanted _Merlin to come with him.

Arthur nodded, a look of intense relief on his face, and stood up slowly, before looking around helplessly.

"Follow me," said Merlin quickly, remembering that Arthur had never been at a doctor's before. He led Arthur in the direction of the doctor he had booked Arthur in with. The two of them walked in silence until they reached the door leading in to the doctor's room.

"Actually, Merlin," said Arthur suddenly, turning to look at him. "Can you...wait out here? Only I'd like to go in alone."

Merlin nodded at once. "Of course." He smiled at Arthur. "Good luck!"

Arthur rolled his eyes and entered the room.

Merlin sat outside the door for what seemed like ages. He heard several horrified exclamations coming from inside the room, and thought he could make out Arthur saying; "How dare you, you pheasant?" at one point, but all in all it seemed to be going quite well.

"A _needle!"_ Merlin heard Arthur bark. "That's utterly ridiculous! You mean to kill me with a_ needle?"_

Merlin moved slightly closer to the door, in order to hear the whole conversation.

"I don't intend to harm you," he heard the doctor say calmly. "In fact, this will do the _opposite_! It protects you from-"

"If you really want to fight me, than go ahead and try!" Arthur snapped. "But I'll beat you any day!"

Merlin sighed. He had known that it wouldn't be easy to convince Arthur to get a jag, but it was essential that he did.

Merlin pushed the door open and smiled weakly at the two men. "Would...you like my help at all?" he faltered.

"Merlin!" Arthur exclaimed, striding towards him. "This man is trying to assassinate me something he calls a _needle!"_

"Arthur, you are _not_ about to die!" said Merlin firmly. "This jag protects you-"

Arthur snorted. "It doesn't seem very safe."

"Arthur,_ I've_ had this jag before!" said Merlin. "And I'm alright!"

"If that's what you want to call it," Arthur muttered.

"Arthur, _you will be fine!"_ said Merlin firmly. "I know that many people are scared of needles, and it isn't unusual that you don't like the look of it, but it's _fine._ I promise."

"Well, go away then!" said Arthur, trying to push him in the direction of the door.

"As long as you promise not to threaten this man any longer," said Merlin, gesturing towards the doctor.

"He threatened me!" Arthur grumbled. "But yes, I'll be quiet."

"That I'd like to see," said Merlin quietly as he escaped through the door.

When he next saw Arthur in the waiting room, the blond man had a large smile on his face. "So it all went alright?" said Merlin, raising his eyebrows expectantly.

Arthur nodded brightly. "It was fine! He even gave me a present for being good!"

"A what?" said Merlin in surprise.

Arthur pointed proudly to his chest, and Merlin noticed, for the first time, a small yellow sticker with a smiling, green whale and the words; "I went to the doctor's today!" printed on it.

**A/N: Happy Red Nose Day - are you doing something funny for money? One of my friends shaved her head, she's raised about £400 so far. Anyway, I hope lots of money is raised for Comic Relief tonight!**

**Hope you liked this chapter :)**


	14. Merthur And Fanfiction

"Merlin?"

"Yes?" Merlin replied with a yawn. Arthur was staring open-mouthed at the laptop he had balanced on his lap, and didn't even raise his eyes to look at Merlin. He sighed heavily.

"Merlin, it has come to my attention that people have been writing _extremely_ inappropriate stories involving us." Arthur's voice was grave, and Merlin groaned. He had known that Arthur would discover 'Merthur' eventually, and had been dreading the day ever since he had shown Arthur what a laptop was.

"Yes, I'm afraid so," was all he was able to say in reply.

Arthur sighed again. "Don't worry, Merlin. I understand."

"What?" said Merlin in surprise. He had expected Arthur to be disgusted and indignant, but he was actually looking quite calm.

"I realise that you are very miserable that we are not together, and have had to turn to writing-" Arthur narrowed his eyes at the screen. _"Fan-fiction._ And you couldn't bear the thought that your love for me would never be returned, and decided to draw those, quite frankly, _disgusting _pictures off us and-"

"Arthur!" said Merlin weakly. "It's not _me _who writes all these stories about us - I try and avoid them as much as possible!"

"Oh." Arthur looked rather surprised. "Well, whoever it is, I hope they stop doing it, and soon. I mean, _listen_ to this! _"The great Arthur Pendragon stared into the depths of Merlin's beautiful eyes and slowly leaned forward, his-"_

Merlin clapped his hands over his ears. "I'm not listening, Arthur!" He shook his head. "I can't believe you _want_ to read that stuff, anyway."

Arthur beamed at him. "Can I get an account on this _fanfiction_, Merlin?"

Merlin raised an eyebrow. "Why, exactly?"

"I wanted to write a story of my own!" said Arthur brightly.

Merlin narrowed his eyes. "If it's about _us,_ forget it. Anyway Arthur, I thought you'd be a bit more-"

Arthur spluttered, interrupting him. _"Merlin!_ Look at this!"

"I don't think I want to," said Merlin with a sigh.

"It says we do _what?!"_ Arthur exploded. "That's...that's _creepy!_ Disgusting! Also, what's this _'slash'_ that everyone keeps going on about?"

Merlin groaned. "It's when you put two men together in a-"

_"M-preg,"_ said Arthur slowly, peering at the screen. "What is-"

"I think we'll leave that!" said Merlin loudly. He walked over to Arthur and grabbed the laptop from him, instantly regretting it when his eyes landed on the words, _"Merlin pulled Arthur in for another deep kiss, and ran his hands through the king's soft blond hair..."_

Merlin resisted the urge to bang his head against the laptop. "I _really_ hope you weren't just reading this, Arthur."

Arthur didn't answer him; his thoughts seemed elsewhere. "Merlin," he said eventually, "what does _'smut'_ mean?"

Merlin shook his head quickly. "You don't need to know that." He turned the laptop off before Arthur could look at it again and walked into his office to store his laptop away.

Arthur followed him. "Merlin, why do some people write stories about lemons?"

Merlin raised an eyebrow. "Lemons?"

"Some people say that their stories contain _lemons."_ Arthur frowned. "Why would someone write a story about a lemon?"

"Arthur, please try and forget everything you've just read," said Merlin firmly. _"Please._ For me. For a friend."

"We're not just friends!" said Arthur brightly. "According to the internet, we're-"

Merlin ran out of the room, his hands over his ears for the second time that day. _"I don't want to know!"_ he bellowed.

**A/N: Hehe, I couldn't resist! I don't really mind Merthur, but I wanted to write something about Arthur discovering it (although he didn't turn out as traumatised here as I'd initially thought he would.) Anyway, thank you for reading!**


	15. The Lawnmower

**A/N: Okay, I'm so, so sorry for the wait – I know it's been a long time since I've updated this! I've been really busy with exams, and haven't had the time, but now they're over (finally!) I can return to writing fanfiction again :) Updates should be much more frequent from now on!**

"So, what do you want to do today?" said Arthur brightly, beaming at Merlin from behind his large cup of tea. "I mean, it's such a nice day – I don't want to waste it! Do you want to go out and buy one of those ice cream things?"

Merlin sighed. It _was_ a hot day, and the idea of ice cream was tempting. However, as he glanced out of the window at the long, overgrown grass in the garden, he knew that he couldn't put it off any longer. "Well, I need to cut the grass today, but we can definitely go out after that-"

"Cut the _grass?!"_ Arthur repeated incredulously. "Why would you want to do that? It looks fine as it is!"

Merlin shook his head as he got to his feet. "Seriously Arthur, even _you_ have to admit that it looks like a jungle out there."

Arthur sighed. "Fine. If you're really so boring that you would willingly spend a day outside cutting some grass when we could be eating an ice cream and spending the day enjoying the sun…" He shook his head and headed for the fridge.

"Your waistline will expand even more if you eat that!" Merlin called after Arthur, as he pulled a choc ice out of the freezer.

Arthur's indignant retort was lost as Merlin ran out of the house, slamming the door behind him. Smiling to himself, he made his way over to the old shed at the back of his garden where he kept the lawnmower. He winced as the door opened with a creak.

_I _really_ need to get a new shed..._

"Merlin!"

Merlin swung round and found himself face to face with a beaming Arthur. Ice cream always put him in a good mood. He was holding an object aloft, and it took a few seconds for Merlin to work out that it was a pair of scissors.

He raised an eyebrow at his friend. "Why're you…" His voice trailed off as the reason dawned on him. "Oh, no, Arthur, you don't cut the grass with _scissors!"_

Arthur looked rather offended. "You don't?" He shook his head, a frown creasing his forehead. "Bit odd. I mean, that's not very logical, is it?" His eyes widened. "Wait a minute – do you use that shaving thing?"

Merlin laughed. "A razor? No."

"The vacuum?" said Arthur hopefully.

Merlin rolled his eyes. "I doubt it, seeing as my vacuum is gone and I haven't had time to get a new one, because _someone_ thought it was a good idea to smash it to pieces and throw it in the bin-"

"Merlin, that is no way to speak to me," said Arthur sternly, waving the scissors threateningly in Merlin's face. Merlin made a grab for them, but Arthur dodged out of the way and sprinted towards the house.

"More than a thousand years on, and still a prat," Merlin muttered, grabbing hold of the lawnmower and shutting the shed door.

The second that he turned the lawnmower on, he heard a crash from inside the house and Arthur came running outdoors again. _"Merlin!" _he roared over the noise_. "MERLIN! We're under attack!"_

Merlin turned the lawnmower off with a sigh. "Look Arthur, the noise was coming from _this."_ He gestured to the lawnmower sitting at his feet. "This is called a lawnmower and it's what you use to cut the grass. Now will you_ please _go back inside and leave me alone!"

"Why can't you just use your magic to cut the grass instead of that thing?" said Arthur blankly. "Unless this lawn thing_ is_ part of your magic!"

"Don't worry, it isn't," Merlin assured him. "Most people have them."

Arthur stepped towards him eagerly. "Can I have a go?"

Merlin eyed him with something akin to astonishment. "You're not scared of it?"

"I hate to rain on your parade _Mer_lin, but I have _never _been scared of any of these things that you've shown me," said Arthur haughtily. "I've merely been…wary of them, that's all. Cautious."

"Right." Merlin grinned at him. "Of course. Cautious."

"Yes!" said Arthur indignantly. He turned his gaze down to the lawnmower sitting at his feet. "How does this thing work?"

"You press that button there to turn it on," said Merlin, pointing it out so Arthur knew exactly which one he meant. "Only make sure to press it when I actually tell you to!" he added hastily, as Arthur's finger hovered dangerously close to the button. "After you've turned it on…well, you just walk around the garden with it, I suppose."

"Sounds pretty dull," said Arthur unenthusiastically.

"Oh well then," said Merlin in relief, "if you think it sounds dull, than why don't you return to the house and eat another ice cream, and leave me on my own to get on with this?"

"Okay!" Arthur replied cheerfully. "I certainly wouldn't object to another ice cream!" Beaming, he headed towards the house.

As soon as the side door of the house leading into the kitchen swung shut, Merlin turned on the lawnmower, praying that Arthur wasn't going to come outside again. The next few minutes went much better than expected – Merlin caught sight of Arthur peering at him wide-eyed through the kitchen window, clutching a strawberry ice cream, but he didn't come outside, much to Merlin's relief.

As Merlin continued to mow the grass, he caught sight of an apple core lying on the lawn, and knelt down to pick it up, cursing Arthur and his laziness. He had told Arthur what a bin was many times, yet Arthur _still_ expected Merlin to pick up after him. He had barely even straightened up when the door of the house banged open and a panicked Arthur flew outside, wearing a slightly maniac expression and waving a cricket bat above his head.

"GET OFF HIM!" he roared, and pushed Merlin down into the grass.

Merlin struggled to get up. "Arthur, you idiot, what are you do-"

There were several bangs as Arthur hit the lawnmower with the cricket bat. Foreseeing a disaster, Merlin dived towards him. "Arthur, stop it, you stupid-"

Arthur picked up the now battered lawnmower, and threw it over the fence. The noise of the lawnmower stopped completely, and Merlin felt his heart sinking. That was_ another _of his things that Arthur had broken, for no reason whatsoever.

Arthur turned to face Merlin, looking delighted. "Don't try and thank me, Merlin," he said heroically, patting Merlin on the shoulder. "I know that you'll never be able to repay me for what I've done-"

"Arthur, what did you do that for you stupid idiot?!" Merlin interrupted furiously. "I was only mowing the grass-"

Arthur looked stricken. "I thought it was eating you!"

"You thought it was _eating_ me!" Merlin repeated incredulously.

"Well, you were on the ground!" Arthur protested. "I thought it had attacked you when I wasn't looking!"

Merlin groaned. "Arthur, I was picking up an apple core!"

"You were _what?!"_ Arthur looked revolted. "Merlin, that's disgusting! Get a fresh apple if you want to eat one – don't eat a rotten one off the ground!"

"Not to _eat,_ you dollophead – I didn't want it getting caught in the lawnmower!" said Merlin impatiently. "Arthur, I think I may have underestimated your stupidness."

"Look, you can easily repair it using your magic!" Arthur exclaimed. "The situation isn't as bad as you're making out, Merlin."

Merlin bit his lip. "Well, I _could,_ I suppose. Only it's in next door's garden now, and you know how much they hate us ever since that time you tried to attack the women because you thought she looked like Morgana…"

"That was a simple mistake," Arthur replied haughtily. "Anyway, if you really don't want to go next door to retrieve it, we could always-"

"Have an ice cream." Merlin finished off Arthur's sentence for him.

Arthur looked hopeful. "Well, yeah."

Merlin's face broke out into a smile. "Sounds like a good idea to me." He turned towards the house. "Race you to the fridge!"


End file.
